Pirates who can’t do anything…(a side story)
     (This has nothing to do with any characters/plots from any other stories.)



         It’s a vast ocean with no road maps and only the sun, stars and your wits to help you survive.  Yet many take it lightly and sail across it with disrespect.  They toss their trash into it, and their bodies.  Foolish people sail across it that think they are so good that they don’t have to worry.  They always end up paying the ultimate price.  But with all the sea and its natural dangers, there are others…Pirates.  
         These heartless humanoid forms can turn up anywhere.  They are odious and barbaric.  Even they dare to pollute the waters with blood, but it is said that even Poseidon is afraid to argue with them.  Every pirate is wanted in almost every inch of land.  There is very little refuge for such out of control men.  The penalty is death by lynching for their hideous crimes.
         But what becomes of Captain Kenji Sai and his crew whom people don’t have the heart to punish?

         His name was Captain Sai, the esteemed captain of The Kirby.  His hair was fair and dirty blonde; it flew back in the sea breeze to expose a firm jaw and dark brown eyes.  He would be considered handsome…at first sight.
         “Hey!  Anna!  Ya’ done scrubbin’ yet?”  He asked bending down to look over the rail at one of his crewmates.
          “Kenji, how can I possibly be done when I said ‘no’ just five minutes ago?”  Anna scowled up at her captain.  She had dull brown hair that reached the middle of her back.  Now, however, it was up in a braid.  She was about to undo it when a cry came from the scullery door.
         “Don’t you dare take that out!  I spent too much time braiding that!”  Jutta raced forward and slapped Anna’s hands.
         “Ow!  This stuff makes my head itch and I never wanted my hair braided!  You did it while I was asleep.  Only a lowlife attacks another persons head in their sleep.”  Anna said frowning.
         “Anna!  The deck!”  Kenji shouted.
         “Stop interrupting me!  I’m trying to explain to this blond what the word ‘lowlife’ means!”  Came her tart reply.
         “Oh, okay…wait…I’m blond, and I’m the captain!  I say-”
         “Kenji!”  Courtney’s voice was sharp and edged with irritation.  It wandered out of the cabin door.  “Com’ ‘ere for a sec’!”
         “Yes ma’am,” he mumbled under his breath and rolling his eyes.
         “Your not here yet!?  Listen, if you want to get anywhere at all, I need help with these blasted charts!  Your hand writing is absolutely terrible!”
         “Coming!”  He called with no enthusiasm to speak of.  He left muttering something about women and respect.

         That night they sat around the kitchen eating the dinner Jutta prepared, and discussing future plans.  It was only the four of them on the ship; tied together with their similarities and strengthened by their differences.  They had just met a few months before, each wanting to go over seas, to see the great unknown.  Each had their separate destinations and their own backgrounds with their secrets.  But that didn’t matter.
         “So I was thinking of going to Langaras,” Kenji said with longing.  He had heard tales of that nation of great happenings and sights.  Also the food was said to be cheep, filling and of the best quality.
         “And,” Courtney cut in; “The Salet Islands are on the way.”  She nodded to Jutta.  
         “Well, I’m goin’ outside.  Its too musty in here.”  Anna set down her plate and got up to leave but Jutta blocked her way.
         “You hardly touched your plate.  Your not going ‘till you’ve a least finished your veggies,” Jutta said.
         “Whatever, monkey,” Anna said pushing her aside and walked out.  After her followed shouts of, “I am not a monkey!”
         The air was salty and gross.  She hated the ocean.  It was wet, but she never felt clean.  The mountains are where she belonged.  In the clean air and high altitudes of a good sturdy mountain is where she wanted to be.  

         The next day Anna came out of her cabin with her short sword and regular sword at her side.  At sea, men used hard flexible blades.  Anna was a mountain mercenary; she stuck to her own weapons.
         “What’s with those?”  Courtney asked, her blue eyes eyeing the weapons with up most revulsion.  She was fair skinned and had shining brown hair that reached her shoulders.  She was a simple navigator and a profound pacifist.  
         “There’s a pirate ship out on the starborad horizon.  Just thought I’d like to be ready.  Though its not like they’d come after this trash heap.”  This last sentence was ignored as the rest ran to the port side railing to look out.  Anna sighed, “the other side.”
         “How did you know?”  Jutta said nervously, bouncing from one foot to the other.
         “Saw ‘em last night.  I thought that they’d leave so I didn’t bother,” she said with a shrug.  “But now that it’s a bit closer, I can see that it’s a wreck.  Storm probably, or a battle with-“
         “Enough!”  Yelled Kenji, “I gotta’ think.”
         “Don’t hurt yourself,” Anna said.  But Kenji wasn’t listening.  
         Anna’s got the weapons, I’ve got the tongue, and Courtney can hide below.  There’s a secret chamber down there for one.  But Jutta…
Kenji smiled and finished his thought out loud, “…is a monkey.”

         The Captain and his crew were rank.  As they boarded The Kirby their smell itself seemed to fill the entire air with crud, to say nothing of their appearance.  They were tired, worn, and grouchy.  On deck, and in plain view, were Kenji and Anna.
         “We’ve come to take your sloop.”  Their captain announced in his most impertinent way.  Anna and Kenji held their breath against the stink of the man’s breath.  
         “It’s not a sloop, it’s a ship.  Sloops’ are structured much differently.”  Kenji said with high dignity.  
         The other crew started to laugh, despite how tired they were.  Kenji’s a funny guy.
         “And anyway, you’re not welcome here and you can just leave.”  He said this as though he really expected them, the pirates, to just say, “Ok,” and leave.  This time the enemy crew was in stitches.  When they settled down, and before their captain could continue, Kenji talked some more.
         “You imposing yourself on my ship is ineffably rude.   Your Profanity and scanty use of your brain, that is if you have one, and your obdurate nature has led you to think that every being must quake at the sight of you, but you are wrong, very wrong, for I do not and will not.  The only thing that is making me quake is that barf-worthy smell.”  
         There was a deep silence after he had finished.  Even Anna was shaking her head.
         “Oh,” Kenji said catching on, “I do believe my jargon has upset you all.”
         The other captain shook his head as though to clear it.  “What’s ‘jargon’?” He asked.
         “Exactly,” replied Kenji smiling.
         “Enough of this!”  Roared the other captain.  He pulled out his sword and brandished it under Kenji’s chin.  “I’ll split you like a cod fish.”
         “Tch,” Anna eyed the pirates’ sword with one eyebrow raised.  “That ain’t a sword,” she said.
         The nasty captain turned to her.  ”Well, if it ain’t a sword then what do you think it is?”
         “A long pointy metal stick with a sharp edge.”
         “That’s what a sword it honey.”
         “Ew, don’t call me that.  But I still say that that ain’t a sword.”  She pulled out her own wider and double-edged sword.  
         “Now this is a sword,” she said like a mother to her child.  
         The seamen had never seen anything like it.  They stared with disbelief at the, to what they considered to be a monstrous weapon of mass destruction.  
         Then the captain of the other ship began to laugh.  His crew chuckled, but couldn’t bring themselves to go all out.
         “Honey, that toy is too big for you.  Why don’t you grow up and come aboard our-“
         There was no sign of movement from her, but in an instant, the captains’ blade was in three pieces, and there was a gash threw his middle.  He bent over with pain.
         “I told you not to call me that you disgusting filth.  Mountain bandits are more intelligent than you are!  At least they come up with a stratagem!”
         “Anna, I think we should let them go, don’t you?”  He said, more hopeful than anything else.  Anna was scary.

         Anna and Kenji watched the pirate ship sail away.  It was a good thing that crew was too tired and stupid to put up much of a fight.
         “Look out below!”  Called Jutta, dropping two crates and three bags onto the deck of the ship from the mast.
         “Good job Jutta,” said Kenji when she had climbed down.  She handed Anna her short sword back.  Anna took it away and tenderly put it back into its sheath.  While Anna and Kenji negotiated with the pirates, Jutta when to collect the “rent” for sharing their air.
         Kenji hurriedly started going threw their new belongings.  Anna had left to go get Courtney.  Jutta stayed and looked on with curiosity as the captain went threw every bag and box, obviously looking for something.  What the other two joined them Anna rolled her eyes and Courtney looked at him as though he had gone insane…and she wouldn’t be too far off.
         “There!”   He cried happily, pulling a moth eaten, scarlet, red coat with brown trimmings and bronze buttons.  He threw it over his shoulders and pulled out an equally battered hat with a large feather.  Placing this on his head he turned to look at the three girls for there thoughts.
         Courtney looked sick.
         Anna had her head in her hands and was shaking with uncontrollable laughter.  
         Jutta just stared, no understanding why he was posing.
         “Sheesh,” he said, looking put out, “its enough to dehumanize a person.”  He looked at himself with childish excitement.  “I’m a tad partial to the brown, how ‘bout you?”  He asked no one unparticular.  Kenji raced up a few steps, turned around and put an another dignified pose.
         “A-hem, I am not saying that you have to follow me.  But I have found my meaning in life-“
         “And for the thousandth time I’ll bet,” muttered Courtney.  Anna and Jutta just smiled.
         “-It was inevitable that my life would some day lead to this.  It will be dangerous and heart wrenching.  There will be battles, fear, joy, and sadness.  It will be an adventure!”
         “For crying out loud!  What already!”
         “I, your infamous captain, has decided to take up piracy.”  




To be continued.....